Ketchup is God's man juice
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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