My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
