One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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