pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
