Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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