last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
