At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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