My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize