need another drink. this is the easiest way
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The best revenge is premature balding
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
