Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize