We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
