think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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