I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
