So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
