Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
