Where is the hickey?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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