OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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