Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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