You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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