I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
