Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
