Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I want a musical about memes.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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