he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
