based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
