Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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