Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i think my mom watched the whole time
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
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