I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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