I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
