thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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