I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
