Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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