She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
