Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
