Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
