those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
