Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
