I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I should be sponsored by Trojan
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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