One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
