If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
