I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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