the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
