Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
