He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Randomize
