So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
