I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
