I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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