There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
