Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
