it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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