she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
