Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize