I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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