I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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