its not stalking. its research.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
soo... how was my night?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
