I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize