I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
