my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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