My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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