At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
