HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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