Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize