I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
